Solid breakdown of metacognition in practice. The shift from recognizing patterns after-the-fact to catching them in real time is where the real work happens, but there's an almost paradoxical challenge there: observing the pattern while simultaneously being in it requires a kind of mental split-screen that takes ages to develop. I've found journaling right after a pattern fires helps me shorten the gap between occurence and recognition over time.
Thanks for reading. Agreed that it is difficult work and can take some time to grow into that real time awareness. I should clarify that by real time I mean in the middle of a pattern, right after the pattern completes, or generally within the same conversation or activity during which the pattern occurs. Journaling as you suggested is a great strategy!
A very god actionable article, Alex. And I approve of your updated distinction between thoughts – voluntary and involuntary. I also think that it is useful to train one's awareness by recognizing patterns. When one does, it's important to do so with a non-judgmental attitude. Very important I would say. I never judge myself, I just observe. That way all my energy is saved for learning and change.
I think this "model" of yours around the interconnected system works quite well. When I read what you wrote I "applied" it to my own experiences. Because I have lived most of my life with trauma, in what I call an "unhealed state", and (after many years of therapy and a "Shift") for the last couple of years in a "healed state", I can ongoingly compare how different one state is to the other. This is quite fascinating. I get to know myself better and better. A journey that never ends!
I notice two things. One is that there are old patterns that are simply gone. When/if the triggers arrive my reactions don't. For example: When I was happy I used to fear something bad would happen, and I became tense. Now I am quietly happy all the time. And no fear. I used to fear what lurked within me. I don't anymore, there is nothing within me I fear to meet.
The other thing is that there are situations when the old patterns trigger the usual reactions (tech stuff around computer etc.). My body immediately tightens, heart beats fast, it's difficult to talk. In the "unhealed" state this used to in turn trigger a chain of self-critic and worst case panic, with zero access to my thinking mind. My own reactions overwhelmed me. Now, when the trigger occurs (the same ones!) my body reacts in the familiar way. But there it ends! No beating myself up. I observe, and take stock of what CAN be done. Maybe I google for solutions. My heart might still be beating unpleasantly fast, but I can handle that.
If I apply your model on my present state it seems that it matches what you describe in the last part of your article. I know myself well, I have agency and I can choose my responses. What a gift! Take care, Alex. Love, Maria
Thanks, Maria! Getting to non-judgment is deceivingly difficult but truly makes all the difference. I’d probably go as far as saying it’s top 3 most important mindsets to have during self-discovery (wanting the best for yourself and compassion being the other two). Truly is fascinating to observe the patterns and notice when they change over time. I’m glad they don’t control you anymore!
This was a clear explanation of something that usually feels abstract. The idea that noticing creates space stayed with me.
That’s always my goal, so very glad to hear that Denise. Also happy to see you subscribed. Welcome aboard!
Solid breakdown of metacognition in practice. The shift from recognizing patterns after-the-fact to catching them in real time is where the real work happens, but there's an almost paradoxical challenge there: observing the pattern while simultaneously being in it requires a kind of mental split-screen that takes ages to develop. I've found journaling right after a pattern fires helps me shorten the gap between occurence and recognition over time.
Thanks for reading. Agreed that it is difficult work and can take some time to grow into that real time awareness. I should clarify that by real time I mean in the middle of a pattern, right after the pattern completes, or generally within the same conversation or activity during which the pattern occurs. Journaling as you suggested is a great strategy!
A very god actionable article, Alex. And I approve of your updated distinction between thoughts – voluntary and involuntary. I also think that it is useful to train one's awareness by recognizing patterns. When one does, it's important to do so with a non-judgmental attitude. Very important I would say. I never judge myself, I just observe. That way all my energy is saved for learning and change.
I think this "model" of yours around the interconnected system works quite well. When I read what you wrote I "applied" it to my own experiences. Because I have lived most of my life with trauma, in what I call an "unhealed state", and (after many years of therapy and a "Shift") for the last couple of years in a "healed state", I can ongoingly compare how different one state is to the other. This is quite fascinating. I get to know myself better and better. A journey that never ends!
I notice two things. One is that there are old patterns that are simply gone. When/if the triggers arrive my reactions don't. For example: When I was happy I used to fear something bad would happen, and I became tense. Now I am quietly happy all the time. And no fear. I used to fear what lurked within me. I don't anymore, there is nothing within me I fear to meet.
The other thing is that there are situations when the old patterns trigger the usual reactions (tech stuff around computer etc.). My body immediately tightens, heart beats fast, it's difficult to talk. In the "unhealed" state this used to in turn trigger a chain of self-critic and worst case panic, with zero access to my thinking mind. My own reactions overwhelmed me. Now, when the trigger occurs (the same ones!) my body reacts in the familiar way. But there it ends! No beating myself up. I observe, and take stock of what CAN be done. Maybe I google for solutions. My heart might still be beating unpleasantly fast, but I can handle that.
If I apply your model on my present state it seems that it matches what you describe in the last part of your article. I know myself well, I have agency and I can choose my responses. What a gift! Take care, Alex. Love, Maria
Thanks, Maria! Getting to non-judgment is deceivingly difficult but truly makes all the difference. I’d probably go as far as saying it’s top 3 most important mindsets to have during self-discovery (wanting the best for yourself and compassion being the other two). Truly is fascinating to observe the patterns and notice when they change over time. I’m glad they don’t control you anymore!